Book Review: The Wisdom of Tenderness, Brennan Manning (2002)
The Wisdom of Tenderness caught my eye as it sat on the bottom step of a friend’s staircase four days ago.
Before I had finished the first page, I knew that it had successfully jumped the queue of books lying around the house crying out to be read next.
The opening salvo isn’t bad either: ‘In the past year, I’ve grown increasingly uneasy with the state of contemporary spirituality in the Western world. It has, to put the matter bluntly, the flat flavor of old ice cream.’
Manning is in a combative mood. But what follows is not a finger-pointing tirade, a Victor Meldrew ecclesiastical rant, but, like the wounded healer that Manning became, he offers his insights, and often at his own expense:
‘In praying for chronic alcoholics, I’m frequently overcome by a surge of compassion…perhaps because of my own struggle with alcoholism…the damnable imprisonment of not being able to quit…the harrowing fear that I’ve lost God…are quickly revived when I pray for an alcoholic’
Page after page Manning dismantles our – and his - self-aggrandisements, desperate coping mechanisms, dissatisfying quests for indispensability, our fears of being found out, and tells us, using his extraordinary gift of translating the human condition into beautifully written prose, that God is tender towards our poverty-stricken spirituality. Towards us.
‘The crux of this little book can be stated briefly and succinctly. In a moment of naked honesty, ask yourself. “Do I wholeheartedly trust that God likes me?” Not loves me because theologically God can’t do otherwise.’
There is an ‘American’ dimension to this book – for example, he deals with issues of hypocrisy within the pro-life/anti-abortion movement which is more of an issue across the pond than here – but the principles easily swim across to our shores.
But, if you’re British and tempted to dismiss anything from America as shallow, brash, and over-confident, this book will be a shock to your misplaced British superiority! In fact, unless you’re willing to be knocked off your perch, not to take yourself too seriously, and hand yourself in for a spiritual MOT, this book is not for you…yet.
‘The crux of this little book can be stated briefly and succinctly. In a moment of naked honesty, ask yourself. “Do I wholeheartedly trust that God likes me?” Not loves me because theologically God can’t do otherwise.’
It is my contention, however, that The Wisdom of Tenderness is for everyone: British, American, Mongolian, Chilean, Russian, French, and all comers. It is shot through with love, tenderness, mercy, and kindness in the face of human failure and spiritual poverty.
It’s not a self-help book, but it is one for those who like John Lennon who wrote ‘Help!’ in response to his out-of-control lifestyle and fame: "I was eating and drinking like a pig, and I was…dissatisfied with myself...I was crying out for help.” I can’t comment on what John Lennon did to self-medicate, but Manning unreservedly points us to Jesus as the ultimate source of the help we all need.
The Wisdom of Tenderness is not a biography, but I add Manning’s Wikipedia page if you wish to know more about the author. He died in 2013.